Adoptive Parents See Children Conceived in Rape as Perfect
Monday, October 1, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
We had to deal with this in our family and now a courageous young mother writes about it here.
Another author writes about "Consecrated Children," as I call them, in his story, When a Horrific rape Leads to an Innocent Life.
I pray that Akin's thoughtless remarks will continue to help bring these and other issues to light. I also pray that intelligent people everywhere will come to realize that killing the rape victim's child does nothing to erase the crime committed; it only inflicts more pain on the mother, kills her child, and perpetuates the cycle of violence in society.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
This is a repost from November of 2010 because the link has changed, but the story is as powerful as ever!
Heather Gemmen: Finding 'Beauty' after Rape
“The light turned on in my room, and I
mumbled something like, ‘Steve, turn out the light. I’m trying to get
some sleep.’ The light turned out, and I opened my eyes. The man
standing in my bedroom was not my husband.”
It was Heather Gemmen’s worst nightmare.
She, her husband and two children lived in a dangerous neighborhood in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Crime was everywhere.
"The tension between the Black and White races was tangible. It was very evident, so then you feel threatened,” Heather says -- especially the night Heather was tied up and raped at knife point.
“There were a few moments where I simply thought, I’m going to die. It was like it wasn’t real. I didn’t really believe this was happening. In fact, I said that to him, ‘What are you doing here?’”
It seemed like an eternity, but after an hour, the rapist left.
Heather immediately went to check on her children, who were just steps from her bedroom. Surprisingly, they slept through everything and had no recollection of what happened. Heather, on the other hand, couldn’t forget.
“How could he have done this to my life? He was so selfish, so wicked. His words were vile. Disgusting like vomit on me and to think that somebody could do that to someone else... I really wanted to hurt him.”
At the same time, Heather struggled with guilt and shame.
“Any way I could blame myself, I did. Even though logically I knew it wasn’t my fault. There I am in my own home, a man raped me at knife point, ties me up, threatens the life of my children. I’m obviously innocent, but I didn’t feel that way.”
Other questions haunted Heather. What if she contracted a sexually transmitted disease or became pregnant?
“All I thought was doom, doom, doom, and I thought, I’m definitely going to be pregnant. I’m definitely going to have AIDS, and my world’s going to come crashing down. I just didn’t believe that anything would be okay again.”
Heather was desperate. So, she followed a doctor’s advice and took “the morning after pill.”
Heather says, “I knew it was wrong, but I took it because I couldn’t bear the idea of being pregnant. I thought, I won’t be able to deal with it. I’m already overwhelmed with the pain in my life.”
There was only one problem…
“I discovered that the pill didn’t work, and I was pregnant as a result of the rape. I felt trapped.”
Would Heather have the baby or have an abortion? Would she give the baby up for adoption or keep the baby herself?
“Here I was with three choices, and none of them worked. I wanted door No. 4, and there was no other option. That’s when God began to just soften my heart and work in me because I finally just turned myself over to Him. [I] said, ‘I can’t do anything, and I let go of this desire for control.’”
Even after surrendering to God, it was still hard. Some of the advice Heather got really made her angry.
“There are times that people would quote scripture to me, [like] Romans 8:28. God will make all things good for those of us who love Him and are called according to His purpose. And it sounds so beautiful but when you’re in the midst of despair, frankly you want to hit people with the Bible because it doesn’t feel true.”
But
it was true. Heather had the baby and named her Rachel. Heather
decided to keep her. What started out as a gross violation turned into
what Heather calls in her book "startling beauty."
“I couldn’t have loved this child and recognized her innocence, seen her beauty, and been able to separate her from the crime if it weren’t for the Holy Spirit working in our hearts. The amazing thing is I have never, ever associated Rachel with the rape itself.”
Since Rachel was born, there have been some changes in the Gemmen family. Sadly after standing by her side through everything, Heather’s husband eventually left.
“I think perhaps he wasn’t given enough care by me or by others in dealing with this. I don’t know. I don’t really understand what happened.”
But Heather pressed on. She remarried and even adopted a boy from the neighborhood named Deshawn, who thinks the world of his sister.
"I
love my sister. I just think about how God can do amazing things in our
lives," says Deshawn. "Even if it’s the worst thing, He can make it
the beautiful-est thing. I think that’s awesome."
The man who raped Heather is now in prison, and she no longer suffers from guilt or shame. She says the love of God set her free from that and helped her to forgive.
“Who am I to say to God this person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven? I realized I needed to forgive him even though I had no way of knowing if he was sorry or not. I just had to forgive him.”
Heather has been able to talk to Rachel about the circumstances surrounding her birth. Heather says, “She understands what happened, and once in a while she’ll say, ‘Mom, I’m so sad. I don’t like what happened to you.’ And then I’ll say, ‘Me neither. I hate what happened. It was awful, but if it didn’t happen, then I wouldn’t have my little girl.’ She just smiles and tells me, ‘Mom, you’re lucky you have a daughter.’ And it’s true.”
Heather Gemmen has come a long way, and she says all the credit belongs to God.
“God is trustworthy. When we give Him our problems and our bitterness, He is faithful to take care of those things and we can forgive. The restorative power of God’s love overwhelms me."
Heather Gemmen: Finding 'Beauty' after Rape
By Zsa Zsa Palagyi, The 700 Club
It was Heather Gemmen’s worst nightmare.
She, her husband and two children lived in a dangerous neighborhood in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Crime was everywhere.
"The tension between the Black and White races was tangible. It was very evident, so then you feel threatened,” Heather says -- especially the night Heather was tied up and raped at knife point.
“There were a few moments where I simply thought, I’m going to die. It was like it wasn’t real. I didn’t really believe this was happening. In fact, I said that to him, ‘What are you doing here?’”
It seemed like an eternity, but after an hour, the rapist left.
Heather immediately went to check on her children, who were just steps from her bedroom. Surprisingly, they slept through everything and had no recollection of what happened. Heather, on the other hand, couldn’t forget.
“How could he have done this to my life? He was so selfish, so wicked. His words were vile. Disgusting like vomit on me and to think that somebody could do that to someone else... I really wanted to hurt him.”
At the same time, Heather struggled with guilt and shame.
“Any way I could blame myself, I did. Even though logically I knew it wasn’t my fault. There I am in my own home, a man raped me at knife point, ties me up, threatens the life of my children. I’m obviously innocent, but I didn’t feel that way.”
Other questions haunted Heather. What if she contracted a sexually transmitted disease or became pregnant?
“All I thought was doom, doom, doom, and I thought, I’m definitely going to be pregnant. I’m definitely going to have AIDS, and my world’s going to come crashing down. I just didn’t believe that anything would be okay again.”
Heather was desperate. So, she followed a doctor’s advice and took “the morning after pill.”
Heather says, “I knew it was wrong, but I took it because I couldn’t bear the idea of being pregnant. I thought, I won’t be able to deal with it. I’m already overwhelmed with the pain in my life.”
There was only one problem…
“I discovered that the pill didn’t work, and I was pregnant as a result of the rape. I felt trapped.”
Would Heather have the baby or have an abortion? Would she give the baby up for adoption or keep the baby herself?
“Here I was with three choices, and none of them worked. I wanted door No. 4, and there was no other option. That’s when God began to just soften my heart and work in me because I finally just turned myself over to Him. [I] said, ‘I can’t do anything, and I let go of this desire for control.’”
Even after surrendering to God, it was still hard. Some of the advice Heather got really made her angry.
“There are times that people would quote scripture to me, [like] Romans 8:28. God will make all things good for those of us who love Him and are called according to His purpose. And it sounds so beautiful but when you’re in the midst of despair, frankly you want to hit people with the Bible because it doesn’t feel true.”
But
it was true. Heather had the baby and named her Rachel. Heather
decided to keep her. What started out as a gross violation turned into
what Heather calls in her book "startling beauty."“I couldn’t have loved this child and recognized her innocence, seen her beauty, and been able to separate her from the crime if it weren’t for the Holy Spirit working in our hearts. The amazing thing is I have never, ever associated Rachel with the rape itself.”
Since Rachel was born, there have been some changes in the Gemmen family. Sadly after standing by her side through everything, Heather’s husband eventually left.
“I think perhaps he wasn’t given enough care by me or by others in dealing with this. I don’t know. I don’t really understand what happened.”
But Heather pressed on. She remarried and even adopted a boy from the neighborhood named Deshawn, who thinks the world of his sister.
"I
love my sister. I just think about how God can do amazing things in our
lives," says Deshawn. "Even if it’s the worst thing, He can make it
the beautiful-est thing. I think that’s awesome."The man who raped Heather is now in prison, and she no longer suffers from guilt or shame. She says the love of God set her free from that and helped her to forgive.
“Who am I to say to God this person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven? I realized I needed to forgive him even though I had no way of knowing if he was sorry or not. I just had to forgive him.”
Heather has been able to talk to Rachel about the circumstances surrounding her birth. Heather says, “She understands what happened, and once in a while she’ll say, ‘Mom, I’m so sad. I don’t like what happened to you.’ And then I’ll say, ‘Me neither. I hate what happened. It was awful, but if it didn’t happen, then I wouldn’t have my little girl.’ She just smiles and tells me, ‘Mom, you’re lucky you have a daughter.’ And it’s true.”
Heather Gemmen has come a long way, and she says all the credit belongs to God.
“God is trustworthy. When we give Him our problems and our bitterness, He is faithful to take care of those things and we can forgive. The restorative power of God’s love overwhelms me."
It has been too long since I updated this blog. I have been seriously ill but seem to be improving, or at least maintaining at this point! But my commitment to the unborn and those children who are Consecrated to God from the moment of their conception will never waver.
This is from today's headlines. The title below (link) will take you directly to the full story.
Minka Disbrow, 100 years old, has held her beloved daughter, Betty Jane, in her heart ever since she was conceived via rape in 1928.
This is from today's headlines. The title below (link) will take you directly to the full story.
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