Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Such an Inspiring, Determined Woman


This is not a story that I would usually post here--it's not about a child or sibling conceived by rape. But it is powerful and positive nonetheless. Let's pray that more women take this courageous stand!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Yet Another Story of a Beautiful Child Conceived via Rape--England


Like so many teenage mums, Elizabeth Cameron doesn't like to talk much about the father of her toddler daughter.
She shrugs when asked about him, and admits that when questioned about his whereabouts - as people inevitably do - she likes to keep things vague.
"When new people ask, I say I have nothing to do with him - which is true," she says quietly. 'But I'm not sure yet what I will tell Phoebe herself when she is old enough to ask.

Rape victim: Elizabeth Cameron with her daughter Phoebe (her face obscured at Elizabeth's request) and mother Sarah
'Hopefully, one day, I will get married, and then Phoebe will have a father and it won't be such an issue.'
If only things were that easy. The truth is that little Phoebe will never want to know the truth about the man who gave her life.
She was conceived on a cold December evening when Elizabeth - then a 16-year-old virgin - was dragged into the back of the van and raped.
All that Elizabeth will be able to tell Phoebe one day is that her father was a stranger in a hooded top who forced himself upon her.
She has no idea of the man's age, ethnic background, even height, such was the confusion of that evening. Indeed, he could be one of three possible individuals.
One of the few things that Elizabeth is sure of is that she was raped three times that night, by three different men.
That Phoebe exists at all almost defies belief. Practically everyone who knew exactly how Elizabeth had fallen pregnant - doctors, siblings, even her own father - urged her to have an abortion as soon as possible.
The only person who pleaded with her to at least consider having the child was her mother, Sarah.
Today, Elizabeth and Sarah are together to tell their remarkable story to the Mail. Sitting in their lavish eight-bedroom, £1.5 million home in a picturesque village on the South Coast, at first they seem like any doting mother and grandmother, falling over themselves to share stories of the little girl of whom they are so proud.
'Even at 22 months, she can wrap me round her little finger,' admits Sarah, 53, who owns a property leasing business. 'Having her in my life is such a joy. From the first time I held her in my arms, I have had this fierce bond with her, a connection which started even before she was born.
'She looks like me when I was her age, and I feel strongly that she was meant to be a part of our family.'
Elizabeth, still only 19 and about to start university to train to be a primary school teacher, is less vocal than her mother, but no less besotted.
'Everyone, save for mum, thought I should have an abortion,' she says. 'My dad even made an appointment at the clinic, and they showed me the little blob on the scan, I presume, to convince me that it was just a mass of cells and the whole thing would be over quickly.
'But I couldn't go through with it. 'At school, my friends - most of whom didn't even know about the rape - couldn't understand why anyone my age would want to have a baby rather than an abortion.
'And the few I did tell about what had happened were even more horrified that I would want to go through with the birth.
'But I did. And I don't regret it for a moment.
Every time I look at Phoebe, I know I made the right decision. I never wanted to end my baby's life just because of how she came to be.'
To most women, the thought of carrying their rapist's baby would be unthinkable. Elizabeth says that she, too, would once have shared that view.
To her amazement, though, the first sight of that 'mass of cells' on the screen triggered waves of tenderness rather than revulsion.
'It was surprisingly easy to love her as she grew inside me, but I have to admit I was scared my feelings would change when I saw her.
'During the pregnancy, I had nightmares about the attack and I worried myself sick that seeing my baby would immediately bring on flashbacks of that night.
'But from the moment mum put her on my breast, there was no question we belonged together.
'She did not remind me of that night, and I knew then that having her was more important than what had happened.'
Very few people know the truth of how Phoebe came to exist. Unfortunately, in their community, it is assumed that she is just another youngster who got pregnant through carelessness, foolishness or deliberate willfulness.
'At college, one of my tutors even asked if I'd got pregnant deliberately so I could get a council flat.'
Her mother shakes her head. 'Most people don't know the gory facts. To them, she is just a silly girl who got herself pregnant.
'We had always been regular churchgoers in our community before this. But we faced so many barbed comments from people at church that we stopped going there and went somewhere else. Sometimes, it has felt like me and Elizabeth against the rest of the world.'
Elizabeth's astonishing story began in December 2005, when an ordinary day at college took a dreadfully violent turn.
'Everyone, except Mum, said I should have an abortion'
A shy, studious girl, known to prefer studying to going to clubs or discos, she had spent the day with friends but was under instruction to be home for the family meal.
Her mother Sarah, who was, as she puts it, 'doing my usual hectic Mum's taxi routine', arranged to pick her up in a supermarket car park after collecting Elizabeth's sister from a Christmas panto.
Unfortunately, Sarah was delayed by an hour, and her frantic phone calls to Elizabeth's mobile went unanswered.
When she arrived at the car park, there was no sign of Elizabeth, so, thinking that she must have caught the bus home, Sarah drove to the family home.
There, to her astonishment, she found Elizabeth in her bedroom, in floods of tears on the floor.
'She was dishevelled and crying her eyes out,' Sarah remembers. 'I panicked, asked her what was wrong but she couldn't tell me.
When I tried to put my arms around her, she pushed me away. She just kept on crying, making me feel completely helpless.
'At first, I wondered if she'd had a falling out with friends, maybe over a boy we knew nothing about.'
Sarah was unable to coax any information out of her daughter and the next day she found her similarly tearful and withdrawn.
Elizabeth says now that she was simply in shock about what she had been through. 'I just couldn't bear to speak about it, not even to mum,' she says.
'I didn't tell anyone because I thought they would think it was my fault, that I was somehow asking for it. I was so ashamed and embarrassed by what had happened, I couldn't even say the word "rape".'
It was, in fact, several days before Elizabeth cracked and blurted out what had happened.
'She was sobbing. She told me these three men in a van had approached her and threatened her. Then they forced her into the van. I was devastated as she said it. Even now, it is hard to talk about.
'As a parent, you try to protect your child, and the thought of my quiet and studious young daughter being violated is so painful. Especially because it was my fault: I should have been there on time.'
That night, Elizabeth was adamant that she did not want her father James, 57, an advertising executive, to know what had happened, but her mother simply could not condone any such cover-up.
'I told her the men who did this were dangerous - that we had to go to the police. I was just horrified that she could even think of not reporting it.'
Together, they told James - who reacted as any father would.
'He exploded with anger - both at what had happened, and at the fact that Elizabeth had not told us sooner. He called the police straight away. Elizabeth was distraught.'
'I was scared, I thought they were going to kill me'
Elizabeth herself takes up the story. 'I had to go over it all and it was awful. I told the police that I'd been so terrified. I thought they were going to kill me.
'After I got into the van, they drove away. I was sure I was being kidnapped. They could have taken me anywhere - abroad even - and I was so scared I was never going to see my family again.
'I was crying with fear, but I didn't scream in case they became more violent.
'In the back of that van, I was raped by all three of them as they drove around, stopping occasionally. I closed my eyes. I couldn't bring myself to look at them. I thought they were in their 20s, but I cannot be certain.'
The lack of a clear picture of her attackers appears to have made the investigation problematic for the female police officer who was dispatched that night.
'I expected there to be immediate action - a medical examination for starters,' says Sarah. 'Elizabeth had bruises on her arms where they held her down. Then I expected maybe counselling, more interviews. But as the days passed we heard nothing.
'When we followed it up, they said the supermarket car park had no CCTV trained on the part where Elizabeth was taken. She couldn't give any real description of the men because their hoods were over their faces.
'There wasn't a lot to go on, I suppose, and because Sarah couldn't bring herself to report it until a few days after the attack, there was no real forensic evidence either.'
Elizabeth cried at the apparent lack of progress from the police, and as the weeks passed, began to resign herself to the prospect that her attackers would never be caught.
Her way of coping was to continue at college, where she was studying for a BTEC in childcare. A month later, however, her period was late.
She confided in her mother, who bought the pregnancy test. 'When it was positive, I was the one who cried the most,' admits Sarah. 'I told her I would be there for her, whatever. Her father immediately said she should have an abortion.'
It was at this point that the story took the most astonishing turn. Elizabeth says she had always held very strong views on abortion - believing it wrong, whatever the circumstances. And she couldn't shake off that feeling, not even while lying on the examining couch in the abortion clinic.
Although an appointment had already been made for later in the week to have the actual procedure, Elizabeth asked her mother to cancel it.
'I spent the few days before the appointment in tears, arguing with my father. He couldn't believe that I would even contemplate continuing with the pregnancy. My sister hated the idea.
'I can't explain why I felt so strongly - but I did. I also couldn't even consider adoption. My mum had been abandoned at a London railway station as a baby and adopted, and it had affected her deeply.
'I'd grown up thinking: "How could anyone abandon an innocent baby?" - and I found myself thinking that about my child.
'I think mum understood. When I finally said: "No, I want to have it", she stood by me.
News of the impending addition to the family caused a deep rift. The other Cameron children - Julian, 32, Nicholas, 29, and Alice, 13 - were horrified.
One day, Sarah found a note Alice had typed on her computer. It read: 'Dear God, please help me to love this new baby, because at the moment, I hate it.'
As Elizabeth's bump grew, though, people outside the home had to be told - and the inevitable tuts ensued.
'People have been horrible,' admits Sarah. 'But that just made us more determined to fight for this innocent little child. She had not asked to be conceived, had she?'
On September 15, 2006, little Phoebe arrived weighing a healthy 8lb 4oz. Sarah stayed by Elizabeth's side during the long labour and was the first to hold the little girl.
Both new mum and grandmother admit they were relieved that their only feeling on setting eyes on her was one of adoration.
As Sarah puts it: 'She was so pretty, with thick dark hair and beautiful blue eyes. People may wonder how it is possible to love a child conceived in this way, but believe me, I love her even more because of it.
'Because of the way she was conceived, I love her even more'
'All the hatred I felt towards those men disappeared when I saw the baby. I put Phoebe on Elizabeth's breast and that was the most moving sight.
'In that moment, it wasn't about her being attacked in some car park, it was simply about the precious moment a new mum holds her baby.'
Elizabeth concurs. 'I have never, ever blamed Phoebe for what happened.
'While it was terrifying, knowing that I was going to be a mum made me look forward and focus on something else. I suppose I have tried to look beyond what happened, to the life that was created.'
She is the first to admit that it has not been easy. Phoebe is almost two, and it took a long time for Elizabeth to make peace with her father. 'I didn't want him near her at first. I remember shouting at him: "You wanted me to kill her!"
'But, in time, I saw that he wanted to make amends, too, and he adores her now. That's important. I know that she does need that male figure in her life.'
Which brings us back to the inescapable fact that Phoebe will one day start asking questions about where her 'Daddy' is.
Elizabeth's attackers have never been caught, and she isn't entirely sure that she would want them to be now.
'While I would like to see them punished, I would not ever want them to find out about Phoebe,' she says, forcefully.
'They didn't treat me as a person - just a piece of meat. I would not want the man who made me pregnant ever to have a claim on her.'
And Phoebe? What will Elizabeth tell the child when that difficult subject has to be broached.
'If I have to, I will say that she was the good that came out of something bad. And I will tell her that, however she came to be, I have never ever regretted having her, and I would not be without her for the world.'
Thanks to the London Daily Mail for this article

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Angelina Jolie's Adopted Daughter Conceived in Rape.


The Ethiopian birth mother of a baby girl adopted by Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie has claimed that the child was conceived during a rape.

Mentwabe Dawit, mother of two-year-old Zahara, described how she was attacked one evening in 2004 after a day's work at a construction site in the southern Ethiopian town of Awasa. As she walked home in the darkness, a man approached.

"He pulled a dagger, put one hand on my mouth, so that I could not scream. He then raped me and disappeared," Ms Mentwabe said. The 24-year-old decided to keep the assault a secret.
"I feared the consequences of being raped in a community where rape is considered a taboo, even if what happened happened forcibly," she said. As her belly swelled, Ms. Mentwabe could no longer hide her pregnancy and confided in her mother.

"It was not as I feared. I found my mother understanding and consoling. She urged me not to do anything rash, which might endanger my life."

Ms. Mentwabe gave birth in the family's earth-floored house and she named the little girl Yemsrach, which means good news in the Amharic language. However, she soon found she was unable to feed the baby. "My baby was on the verge of death. She became malnourished and was even unable to cry," Ms. Mentwabe said.
"I was desperate and decided to run away, rather than see my child dying." Ms. Mentwabe's distraught mother searched for her for months around Awasa, 270 km south of the capital Addis Ababa. She eventually put Yemsrach up for adoption, in the belief her own daughter had died.

Ms. Mentwabe said her mother did what she thought was best, and denied newspaper reports in the United States and Europe that she wanted Yemsrach, renamed Zahara, back. "My mother was not misled by anyone, as was alleged by some media outlets. Her motive was to save the child from dying which I fully understand.

"I have never disputed the adoption of my baby by Angelina Jolie. "I think my daughter is a very fortunate human being to be adopted by a world famous lady. I wish them both all the success they deserve," she said.
Article from HearldSun.com

Amazing Mother Found by Her Daughter


Juda M. recently shared the story of finding her mother after all these years!

I was conceived when eight men raped my mother as she walked home after watching The Ten Commandments. I found her after 48 years of both of us praying to meet. Her mother wanted her to have an abortion but she said it wasn't the baby's fault so she gave me up for adoption. She never forgot me and was thrilled to meet me in 2005.

I wrote her a song called "God is Faithful" and now it has turned into a full CD. I travel the world letting people see the face of the "conceived in rape" so that we will be given a chance to live and make a difference in the world.

My mom is a hero and other women who choose to give life will be too.

Please visit www.juda4praise.com to find out more. I have just written a book and it will be published by Tate Publishing available sometime in February 2009 called "Conceived in Rape: LIVING WITH PURPOSE! Real Life, Real Forgiveness, Real Freedom." I am available for speaking and singing. God bless you for all you are doing.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Rebecca's Story



Let me introduce you to Rebecca. We have corresponded and she has given me permission to add her link to my blog. Please read her powerful story and say a prayer for her, won't you? Visit her website.

Who Are The Consecrated Children?

In both the Jewish and Christian traditions in the prophetic book of the Old Testament, Jeremiah, it is recorded, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations."(Jer. 1.5, New American Standard Bible ©1995)

If GOD the CREATOR, who called these children into being, (for it is NOT the rapists who give them life) says HE consecrated these children in their mothers’ wombs, then certainly He has a mighty plan for their lives. While every baby is called forth by God, the children who have been conceived as a result of this crime against their mothers are what I call “The Consecrated Children.” They have a special call on their lives, no doubt.

According to Dr. Janet Smith, a well-known professor who speaks and teaches on human sexuality, the first call on the lives of these most special of children is to help their mothers heal from the trauma of their experience. Smith reports that in her teaching and private counseling she has found that women who conceive as a result of a rape heal more quickly and more fully than women who either do not conceive or abort their babies.

Isn’t that remarkable? These children are conceived by God as a means of healing, hope and joy for the women who have been violated! Contrary to what is preached in Western culture today, a child conceived as a result of a rape is NOT conceived as a reminder of the trauma, but as a gift from God to help their mothers move beyond the pain of their experience.

These little ones are truly God’s gift, and it is my hope that as the stories of their lives begin to be told, we will be witnesses to miracles of all sorts.

In Hope,

Veronica Diego

Consecrated Children...Our Story

Let me start with a few words about why I have created this blog. Last spring I learned that my college-aged daughter had been "acquaintance raped." From a mother’s point of view, the unthinkable had happened--and there was more. My daughter had conceived as a result of the rape. We are committed Christians and value all life, from the moment of fertilization to the moment of natural death, so aborting this child was not an option. But there were some very difficult decisions that my daughter would have to make in the days ahead. Should she prosecute her attacker? Should she go back to school, and if so when? Should she place her child for adoption, or raise him/her?

After learning of my daughter’s plight, I moved to the community where she was attending school to help her through the difficult days ahead. In due time, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl—my first grandchild and the first great grand child on both sides of the family, and decided to raise her. This child is delightful beyond words, and I am honored to be the one helping my young daughter raise her little girl.

As I have watched this precious person grow bigger each day, learn to smile and giggle, and hold her own rattle, I began to think about other people whose lives may have started as a result of rape. I began to do some research to learn of others and found that there is very little in print about these amazing children! Frederick Douglass, the famous American Abolitionist, was a product of rape…certainly there are more stories of triumph over tragedy like this.

So I have decided to collect stories of triumph—stories of women who conceived by rape and gave life to these precious beings, stories of these amazing persons who had NO control over their conception, stories of families who adopted a child who was conceived by rape, and stories of the siblings of children conceived as a result of a rape. These stories will eventually be collated into a book to be published.

Do you have a story you want to tell? Do you know of someone else who may be ready to share her story, or of a family who has been blessed by the selfless love of a woman who gave her child to them via adoption?

I would love to post photos here of my beautiful little granddaughter, but because we think my daughter’s attacker is still in our area, we are “laying low” for protection. Therefore, I am using a pen name and cannot post any of our photos. But maybe you have a picture you would like to post here, showing us the smiling face of a beautiful child who was given life, despite his/her traumatic start.

Please contact me with questions, stories, photos and links to other good sites that address this topic. You can post your comments on this blog or contact me at veronica.diego3@gmail.com

Peace and All Good~ Veronica Diego